In less than 24 hours, I will be racing 13 miles - the Hospital Hill Half Marathon in Kansas City, MO. You're probably wondering why on Earth I would be trying to race a (very hilly) half marathon right now, when I've been dealing with a series of injuries and illnesses and have been feeling so weak. Well, I'm kind of wondering the same thing. But the reason I initially signed on for this race was because Team Nebraska is participating in the "Saucony Elite Team Challenge" and I was asked to take part because of my sub-1:22 at Rock 'n' Roll AZ in January. I know I could have declined, and I did consider it; but I will admit that the prize money on the line did play a factor in my acceptance of a spot on the line. Individual prize money goes five deep, and there's prize money for the top three teams as well (teams consist of up to five runners, with scoring being based on the cumulative time of each team's top three finishers). Add to that my desperate need to feel like part of a team again, and you've got a recipe for me agreeing to a race I really shouldn't be doing at this moment.
So, what's my plan for getting through this weekend? There are many parts... I saw my new chiropractor twice this week for ART, adjustments, and Graston (I was hoping for some intense bruising, but I guess I don't bruise easily.) I've also been a bum, placing a high priority on rest and doing a VERY light workout on Wednesday. I'm feeling a little more energetic today, so I'm hoping that was the right call. Finally, I've had to adjust my expectations. I won't run a new PR. I kind of knew that anyway, because of the hills, but I had still hoped to be within a few minutes. Now, I'm respecting the place my body is in (although I definitely don't like it one bit!) and I'm going to be smart about it. The first half, I'm going to be conservative and hope that I'm still I'm a good position to place well. If things are going considerably better than expected, I'll try to move up little by little in the second half, and then really crank the last 5k if I'm feeling awesome. But if I'm not, I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I know I'm not healthy right now and I'm going to do the best I can with what I have.
If that "best" is a win or a PR, I'd obviously be ecstatic. But, as long as I make it across that finish line, I'll be grateful to my body for that gift. I never thought I would say that, but it's true. As my friends keep reminding me, I'm only 23. Patience has never been a strength of mine, but I'm working on it.
Now, I'm off to Kansas City with my teammates. We have a breakfast date with some hills tomorrow!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Strength
When I was in Flagstaff, rather than doing any traditional weight training, I got all my strength work from running up mountains and going rock climbing several times per week. In the two months since I've been home, I haven't been able to do any of that. I knew I needed to be doing some kind of strength work, but I didn't really know exactly what I should be doing. In high school, I participated in Acceleration, where we did speed workouts on the treadmill (the kind that often led to puking or crying... I was usually a crier) and some basic lifting, and some athletes also had jumping workouts. Over the several years that I was part of the program, I developed a pretty good relationship with the coaches, so I decided Steve was the right person to ask to draw up a strength program for me. It took us a while to find time that worked in both of our schedules and we finally met up for a strength evaluation yesterday.
It was definitely a wake-up call... There were certain exercises I could do with 60 pounds in high school that I now struggle to do with 10. 10! And I'm not talking about my scrawny arms... No, Steve and I found that my arms and shoulders are actually stronger than they were in high school. This time, my legs are weak. The hardest part was when he looked at me very seriously and said "Amanda, I'm honestly not sure how you're able to run at all, given how weak you are." And he's right. How can my legs carry me for miles and miles when I'm this weak? I don't know. I'm surprised that I could be so much weaker when my running volume is higher and I'm running harder workouts.
But, in retrospect, things are starting to make a little more sense, now that I know what I know about my lack of strength. My weak water jumps and hurdling the past few months aren't mysterious anymore. I'm no longer stumped by how much slower I'm running lately and how much harder recovery from longer or harder efforts is. Now, we know what a large part of the problem is and I can work on fixing it. Obviously, I can't change the past, but I do wish we'd figured this out sooner. I had big dreams for this season, and we can make some progress in the remaining 38 days, but I'm going to have to adjust my goals to be more realistic, given the short time frame. And then I can focus on building myself back up into the stronger and faster runner I know I can be. In the meantime, I hope I don't run into my strongwoman high school self in a back alley any time soon!
It was definitely a wake-up call... There were certain exercises I could do with 60 pounds in high school that I now struggle to do with 10. 10! And I'm not talking about my scrawny arms... No, Steve and I found that my arms and shoulders are actually stronger than they were in high school. This time, my legs are weak. The hardest part was when he looked at me very seriously and said "Amanda, I'm honestly not sure how you're able to run at all, given how weak you are." And he's right. How can my legs carry me for miles and miles when I'm this weak? I don't know. I'm surprised that I could be so much weaker when my running volume is higher and I'm running harder workouts.
But, in retrospect, things are starting to make a little more sense, now that I know what I know about my lack of strength. My weak water jumps and hurdling the past few months aren't mysterious anymore. I'm no longer stumped by how much slower I'm running lately and how much harder recovery from longer or harder efforts is. Now, we know what a large part of the problem is and I can work on fixing it. Obviously, I can't change the past, but I do wish we'd figured this out sooner. I had big dreams for this season, and we can make some progress in the remaining 38 days, but I'm going to have to adjust my goals to be more realistic, given the short time frame. And then I can focus on building myself back up into the stronger and faster runner I know I can be. In the meantime, I hope I don't run into my strongwoman high school self in a back alley any time soon!
Hope
I've gotten really terrible about posting to my blog in the past few months, and there are reasons for that but I'm going to save them for another time. I have several half-written blog posts circulating in my head, and I'm hoping to get at least a few typed up in the next week or so.
At church last Sunday, the priest gave a homily that really got me thinking. I can't recreate it word for word, but I'll give you an idea of how it started.
Until Wednesday morning. I woke up to an email notification for a new comment on one of my older blog posts from a young woman named Samantha. Samantha described herself as an average high school sophomore runner who didn't think she'd be able to run in college. In other words, she's ME about seven years ago. She thanked me for giving her hope that she too can run in college if she works really hard. I was floored to see that my hard work over these years was helping someone I don't even know.
Samantha, I wish you all the best of luck in the coming years. Remember that feeling of hope and possibility you have now. There will be hard times when your dreams seem impossible, and there will probably be people telling you that "you can't." Don't listen. Push through and keep your eyes set on where you want to be, and also be patient. You can't rush your dreams, and I have to thank you for helping me remember that. Thank you for showing me that my hard work has made a difference. Thank you for reminding me how far I've come. Thank you for giving me hope that I can still get to where I want to be.
I was looking for a good quotation about hope with which I could end this post, but the search just turned up every single quotation using the word "hope" and most of them weren't what I was going for. I'm going to go with one that made me laugh, even though I at first didn't think it had any useful meaning whatsoever. Upon further reflection, I realized that there couldn't possibly be anything out there that is more relevant.
------------
At church last Sunday, the priest gave a homily that really got me thinking. I can't recreate it word for word, but I'll give you an idea of how it started.
A young man said to God, "God, there are so many terrible things going on all over the place. I could have made a better world." God smiled and told him, "That was the idea."The reason this has stuck with me so closely the past week is that I've been trying to think of something - anything! - I've done to make the world better lately. And nothing came to mind. I felt like this past year of dropping everything to focus on my running had been a mistake. I hadn't improved my steeple time at all. I spent 10 months in Flagstaff nearly exhausting my savings and not making any money because I couldn't find a job. I met some amazing people who changed my life, but because I distanced myself from others I didn't think what I was doing made any difference to anyone.
Until Wednesday morning. I woke up to an email notification for a new comment on one of my older blog posts from a young woman named Samantha. Samantha described herself as an average high school sophomore runner who didn't think she'd be able to run in college. In other words, she's ME about seven years ago. She thanked me for giving her hope that she too can run in college if she works really hard. I was floored to see that my hard work over these years was helping someone I don't even know.
Samantha, I wish you all the best of luck in the coming years. Remember that feeling of hope and possibility you have now. There will be hard times when your dreams seem impossible, and there will probably be people telling you that "you can't." Don't listen. Push through and keep your eyes set on where you want to be, and also be patient. You can't rush your dreams, and I have to thank you for helping me remember that. Thank you for showing me that my hard work has made a difference. Thank you for reminding me how far I've come. Thank you for giving me hope that I can still get to where I want to be.
I was looking for a good quotation about hope with which I could end this post, but the search just turned up every single quotation using the word "hope" and most of them weren't what I was going for. I'm going to go with one that made me laugh, even though I at first didn't think it had any useful meaning whatsoever. Upon further reflection, I realized that there couldn't possibly be anything out there that is more relevant.
I only hope that we don't lose sight of one thing -- that it was all started by a mouse. - Walt Disney
Monday, May 14, 2012
A string of mediocre/bad races...
... almost long enough to make a necklace (definitely enough for a bracelet).
Things have been up and down since the time trial at NW Missouri. I'd have a bunch of terrible training day, followed by an outstanding workout, and then right back to feeling awful again. Over the past month I've run a handful of races, and I haven't really been happy with any of them.
• Sioux City Relays 5k - I was really excited when I saw there was a woman entered at 17:20, because I was hoping I could run right around there. When the gun went off, she and a teammate acting as her pacer shot off the line. I'm not sure what her goal time was, but I could tell it was considerably faster than I was prepared to run and let them go. After just a few laps, the pacer stepped off. A few laps later (I think it was about 2k), apparently she wasn't on the pace she wanted and her coach told her to step off. While both girls had opened up a decent gap on me, I had locked my eyes on them and was trying to use them to pull me along; and, with both of them out of the race, I was in the lead and had to find the drive within me. I slowed some, but managed something resembling a kick and finished in 17:43, a new track pr by 13 seconds and a victory. I know I shouldn't complain about any pr, but I didn't feel too bad physically afterward and I just wasn't happy with the time.
• Princeton Larry Ellis steeple and 1500 - I wanted so badly to run well at Princeton, since that's where I've had my big breakthroughs each of the past 2 years. I had a pretty high goal for myself (even though it was my season opener) and I didn't hide that. I kept everything pretty routine leading up to the race, including my normal warmup. I was nervous about sharing the track -and barriers - with 22 other women, and I really let that get into my head. I wasn't ever really close to my planned pace and I panicked about hurdling in the crowd. Also, I learned that it's a bad idea to wear brand new spikes for steeple. By the end of the first 1000m, I had sizable blisters on the ends of my toes, and the pain prevented me from being able to get up on my toes and hurdle as well as I normally can. I didn't really do anything very well in that race, although I did manage to stay on my feet. I finished 14th in 10:49. That's my second fastest steeple ever, and well faster than my 2011 opener, but it was far from what I set out to accomplish. I got my blisters treated and then watched my former college teammates run some blazing fast PRs in their races. After a night of sleep, I went back to the track for my 1500. I underestimated how heavy my legs would feel after steeple, and I clawed my way to a 4:52, a new pr by less than a second. It was ugly. I left New Jersey feeling pretty disheartened.
• Nebraska Invitational Steeple - My parents rarely get to watch me race, so I decided to run steeple at home on my birthday weekend. Workouts had been going alright, but not spectacularly. Everyone knows I've always said I'm "not a hot weather runner" and at race time it was 92 degrees and humid. I was still bound and determined to hit my goal. But I got so worked up about the heat that I convinced my body it couldn't perform. Again, I was never on goal pace and had to drop out at 1600m, even though I had a sizable lead, because my vision was getting really blurry. The thing that I'm kicking myself for now is that I was on pace for about a 10:35 when I stepped off the track. Maybe I would have slowed because of the dizziness, but it would've been a 9 second pr if I could have managed to hold the pace. Crap.
• Concordia Twilight Steeple - After Nebraska, I took a day off and then attacked training. I crushed a workout on Wednesday, so I decided on a whim to jump into steeple at a meet just 45 minutes away. When I got there, even with strong winds, I fully intended to go after my ambitious goal yet again... Yeah, brilliant idea, Amanda. On the home stretch, the strong headwind made any forward motion (especially hurdling) nearly impossible. And I didn't have quick enough turnover to keep up with the tailwind on the backstretch. I do have to say that a few of my water jumps were a big improvement on how I did at Princeton and Nebraska, though. I was on pace to run about what I ran at Princeton until 250m to go in the race. I just had a hurdle, a water barrier, and then one final hurdle remaining. Before I knew what happened, I was laying flat on the track. Basically, I hurdled and then forgot to get my feet back under me and I fell hard on my right side, rolling a few times. I think I got up pretty quickly, but it was really hard to get my momentum back after slamming into the ground. My last lap was embarrassingly slow, and my Team Nebraska teammate quickly closed the gap. I was just barely able to kick it in for the win by a quarter of a second. Needless to say, I wasn't at all happy with my time of 11:10. It was the slowest steeple I had run in the last 25 months. Ouch.
With this apparent backward movement in results every time I toe the line, it's very hard not to get discouraged. It would be very easy to see all that time I dedicated to my training in Flagstaff as a waste. But I was really inspired by a blog post my friend Allie wrote about dreams recently. I'd been trying to force my dreams to come true on MY timeline, when what I need to do is focus on doing the work and taking steps toward my dream. I do believe that I will get there... It's just going to take longer than I would like it to.
From now on, I think I'm going to stop praying about the time I want and instead pray for the patience and strength that I'll need for the journey. I'll definitely be sure to pack the bracelet of mediocre/bad races. While the results were not what I wanted, I gained more racing experience and learned something from each of them.
Up next : Hospital Hill Half Marathon on June 2nd in Kansas City, MO
Things have been up and down since the time trial at NW Missouri. I'd have a bunch of terrible training day, followed by an outstanding workout, and then right back to feeling awful again. Over the past month I've run a handful of races, and I haven't really been happy with any of them.
• Sioux City Relays 5k - I was really excited when I saw there was a woman entered at 17:20, because I was hoping I could run right around there. When the gun went off, she and a teammate acting as her pacer shot off the line. I'm not sure what her goal time was, but I could tell it was considerably faster than I was prepared to run and let them go. After just a few laps, the pacer stepped off. A few laps later (I think it was about 2k), apparently she wasn't on the pace she wanted and her coach told her to step off. While both girls had opened up a decent gap on me, I had locked my eyes on them and was trying to use them to pull me along; and, with both of them out of the race, I was in the lead and had to find the drive within me. I slowed some, but managed something resembling a kick and finished in 17:43, a new track pr by 13 seconds and a victory. I know I shouldn't complain about any pr, but I didn't feel too bad physically afterward and I just wasn't happy with the time.
• Princeton Larry Ellis steeple and 1500 - I wanted so badly to run well at Princeton, since that's where I've had my big breakthroughs each of the past 2 years. I had a pretty high goal for myself (even though it was my season opener) and I didn't hide that. I kept everything pretty routine leading up to the race, including my normal warmup. I was nervous about sharing the track -and barriers - with 22 other women, and I really let that get into my head. I wasn't ever really close to my planned pace and I panicked about hurdling in the crowd. Also, I learned that it's a bad idea to wear brand new spikes for steeple. By the end of the first 1000m, I had sizable blisters on the ends of my toes, and the pain prevented me from being able to get up on my toes and hurdle as well as I normally can. I didn't really do anything very well in that race, although I did manage to stay on my feet. I finished 14th in 10:49. That's my second fastest steeple ever, and well faster than my 2011 opener, but it was far from what I set out to accomplish. I got my blisters treated and then watched my former college teammates run some blazing fast PRs in their races. After a night of sleep, I went back to the track for my 1500. I underestimated how heavy my legs would feel after steeple, and I clawed my way to a 4:52, a new pr by less than a second. It was ugly. I left New Jersey feeling pretty disheartened.
• Nebraska Invitational Steeple - My parents rarely get to watch me race, so I decided to run steeple at home on my birthday weekend. Workouts had been going alright, but not spectacularly. Everyone knows I've always said I'm "not a hot weather runner" and at race time it was 92 degrees and humid. I was still bound and determined to hit my goal. But I got so worked up about the heat that I convinced my body it couldn't perform. Again, I was never on goal pace and had to drop out at 1600m, even though I had a sizable lead, because my vision was getting really blurry. The thing that I'm kicking myself for now is that I was on pace for about a 10:35 when I stepped off the track. Maybe I would have slowed because of the dizziness, but it would've been a 9 second pr if I could have managed to hold the pace. Crap.
• Concordia Twilight Steeple - After Nebraska, I took a day off and then attacked training. I crushed a workout on Wednesday, so I decided on a whim to jump into steeple at a meet just 45 minutes away. When I got there, even with strong winds, I fully intended to go after my ambitious goal yet again... Yeah, brilliant idea, Amanda. On the home stretch, the strong headwind made any forward motion (especially hurdling) nearly impossible. And I didn't have quick enough turnover to keep up with the tailwind on the backstretch. I do have to say that a few of my water jumps were a big improvement on how I did at Princeton and Nebraska, though. I was on pace to run about what I ran at Princeton until 250m to go in the race. I just had a hurdle, a water barrier, and then one final hurdle remaining. Before I knew what happened, I was laying flat on the track. Basically, I hurdled and then forgot to get my feet back under me and I fell hard on my right side, rolling a few times. I think I got up pretty quickly, but it was really hard to get my momentum back after slamming into the ground. My last lap was embarrassingly slow, and my Team Nebraska teammate quickly closed the gap. I was just barely able to kick it in for the win by a quarter of a second. Needless to say, I wasn't at all happy with my time of 11:10. It was the slowest steeple I had run in the last 25 months. Ouch.
With this apparent backward movement in results every time I toe the line, it's very hard not to get discouraged. It would be very easy to see all that time I dedicated to my training in Flagstaff as a waste. But I was really inspired by a blog post my friend Allie wrote about dreams recently. I'd been trying to force my dreams to come true on MY timeline, when what I need to do is focus on doing the work and taking steps toward my dream. I do believe that I will get there... It's just going to take longer than I would like it to.
From now on, I think I'm going to stop praying about the time I want and instead pray for the patience and strength that I'll need for the journey. I'll definitely be sure to pack the bracelet of mediocre/bad races. While the results were not what I wanted, I gained more racing experience and learned something from each of them.
Up next : Hospital Hill Half Marathon on June 2nd in Kansas City, MO
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