NW Missouri State Open

After I realized my track season doesn't have to be scrapped, we decided it would be a good idea to toss me into a steeple race for a 2k time trial just to see where my fitness was at. I did some quick searching and found a meet at Northwest Missouri State, not terribly far from Lincoln. As luck would have it, one of my new Team Nebraska teammates, Megan, wanted to go there for steeple and 5k as well. So the two of us and her fiance hopped in the car and drove to NWMS for some rainy fun.

The plan was to try to run my 3k steeple goal pace for 2k (3k goal is 10:15, so that's a 6:50 for 2k), but I was a little intimidated by the knowledge I'd be doing it all on my own. I was also a little nervous because the barriers I warmed up over were the first ones I'd faced since my bad race at NCAAs last May. On top of that, we had a nice drizzly rain coming down and I discovered just 10 minutes before the race (which started a half an hour later than it was supposed to, as we stood there shivering) that my spikes, while a gorgeous hot pink color, have a slick all-plastic bottom that, when combined with only 1/8-inch spikes, doesn't provide the greatest traction when you step on a wet water barrier. I knew I was going to have to be reeeeeally careful if I didn't want to slip and go for a swim in the water pit.

This could have easily turned out exactly like the 3200 at ASU with all the worries that were bouncing around my brain. But, I took a deep breath and remembered a few important things:

• This is my 5th year of running steeple. I've faced TONS of steeple barriers and these ones are the same height as all the rest. Though sometimes it feels like they grow in the last couple laps, this is not true. 30 inches is 30 inches (barring a mistake on the part of the officials... I've heard plenty of stories about this, and it's my worst nightmare.)
• I completely crushed that workout by myself a few days before, and the workout was a faster pace than I was going to have to run for the time trial.
• My coach knows what she's doing and I trust her. Sometimes she sounds crazy, but she wouldn't set a task before me that is actually impossible.
• I can't control the fact that it's raining. What I can control is how I react to it, so I had to be respectful and cautious about the water barriers, but not afraid.

From the gun, I was able to settle into my goal pace pretty quickly and held it pretty evenly. After the workout I had done on Wednesday, this pace felt rather relaxed. I had a few ugly hurdles, but some of them were pretty smooth. Before the race, I'd been worried about my lack of preparation (the Wednesday workout was the first one I'd done over hurdles this year), but I guess it's kind of like riding a bike. Things might not go perfectly after a while away from it, but you don't really forget how to hurdle.

I normally like to really attack the water barrier so I can get in and out more quickly. But I was so afraid of slipping that I decelerated going into it each time around, landing pretty deep in the water and undoubtedly costing me some valuable time. Still, the pace felt really good and I didn't really die off, finishing my 2k in 6:55 (on pace for a 10:23). I really don't like to make excuses, and I don't think I am when I say I feel that my decision to play it safe on the water barriers easily cost me at least 5 seconds total over the course of 5 laps. I'm really encouraged by how nearly effortless it felt, and I'm excited to see what happens when I get into a race with other women running fast and now that I have new spikes that I think will offer a little more security on the water barriers.




Before the meet, I had made an agreement with the NWMS coach to help pace a few of his girls in the 5k toward their goal of 18:00. I was supposed to at least set the pace for a mile, and then I was free to drop out whenever I wanted. The strong winds that came up made even pacing pretty difficult, as we had the wind pushing us on one straightaway and had to fight through it on the other. Even with that challenge, I hit the halfway point in exactly 9:00, but by that point the only runner still tucked in behind me was my teammate. I continued holding the tempo pace, wanting to get a good workout in and took the win in 17:56, a new track PR (old was 18:04) and Megan finished 2nd in 18:21. Solid day of work for the Team Nebraska steeple women, I'd say!

"The Good Life"

Okay, so maybe I wasn't completely honest when I said that I only moped about the ASU race momentarily and then moved on. Many people say that your 3200 time and your steeple time are roughly equivalent, so a 10:54 made me feel like I'm moving backward and that my 9 months in Flagstaff were a complete waste. I felt embarrassed and defeated. I had been considering leaving Flagstaff in a few months, but an unfortunate set of circumstances and events led me to want to leave sooner, and I was fortunate to have my parents visiting me for a week, so we just decided to pack everything up and get me on the road home. While I thought I had a month or more to say goodbye to my friends, I had all of 4 days. That's it. I met up with a few people when I could find time amidst all the packing, donating furniture, and cancelling my various memberships. There were many others I wanted to see, but I wasn't ready to say goodbye. At the time, I just wanted to avoid the pain, but now I really regret leaving without seeing so many of the people who had become my Flagstaff family and my heart aches, not knowing when I will see them again.

The road trip back to Nebraska was one disaster after another. I had to delay the first leg of the trip (Flagstaff to Santa Fe) by a day after sleeping with my contacts in caused such severe eye irritation that I was unable to keep my eyes open for more than a few seconds at a time. Then, a bout of food poisoning forced me to spend an extra day in Santa Fe. After spending the night in Denver, my cat decided to hide inside the hotel room's reclining chair and it took me over an hour to find her and get her out. When I finally made it home, I didn't really feel like running. I was completely broken down. I really hate to admit it, but at that point I was pretty sure I was going to give up running completely. But I didn't know how to tell Coach Shayla. She's been a great friend to me and really believes in me, and I just didn't have any clue how to tell her I was throwing in the towel.

So, when she gave me a few track workouts to do that first week home, I had to give them a try; but, to be completely honest, I wasn't expecting much. The first workout was one I had done a few weeks prior in Flagstaff. I ran considerably faster this second time, but nothing crazy. The second workout sounded completely impossible when Shayla gave it to me. It was a pretty sizable chunk of work at 10:00 steeple pace (obviously a lot faster than I've ever run steeple, but also faster than my goal), some of it over hurdles. I thought "no way..." But I drove up to Omaha to share the track with the Omaha Endurance Group (organized by Team Nebraska), expecting it to be a complete disaster. Instead, I not only hit the splits, but also bettered them for many of my intervals and felt really comfortable doing it. I was in shock afterward that a workout I had considered "impossible" went as well as it did. I decided that there was still hope for my season and maybe all I needed were the 5 days I took off. Being home with my family and out of the situation that made me so unhappy probably played a big role as well.

Driving on the interstate, when you cross a state line there is usually a sign welcoming you to the new state. When you enter Nebraska, you are welcomed to "The Good Life." I used to think that sounded kind of cheesy, but now I couldn't agree more. I'm happy to be HOME and, while I complain quite a bit about the lack of real trails here (everything is either paved or gravel... I want DIRT!), I'm very grateful to have access to a track finally and I'm ready to put in some hard work here in the Good Life.

ASU Baldy Castillo Invite

I've been meaning to write this race report since the race (3 weeks ago). Unfortunately, a lot of crazy things have happened since then, but I'll go into that in another blog post. Originally, the plan was to run a 2k steeple at ASU, but I panicked about my lack of hurdle preparation, so Shayla let me switch to the 3200. Why a college meet was running the 3200 instead of the 3000, I have no idea, but it only meant one thing... Since I hadn't run the 3200 since the Nebraska State Meet my senior year of high school (11:44 - 7th), I was pretty much guaranteed a PR. I have to admit that I was pretty intimidated by the goal Shayla set for me - 10:15 - because it meant running my mile PR twice in a row, but I try to trust that my coach knows what she's talking about and wouldn't set an impossible task before me.

But, in the hours leading up to the race, the little doubt monsters started creeping into my brain. Instead of strong, confident thoughts, my mind started coming up with all the reasons why I would fail. We were in Phoenix and I'm not a hot weather runner. It was too windy. The pollen count was too high... On and on my busy brain went, and down went my confidence. Negative self-talk has often been a problem for me and it's something I really struggle with. It takes a conscious effort to block out those thoughts and turn your thoughts around.

Will all those self-defeating thoughts dominating my consciousness, it's no wonder things happened exactly the way I thought they would. With the strong winds, I decided to adjust my goal pace to something just a bit less aggressive. I didn't go fast OR take chances. And I wish I had... My adjusted race plan put me at the front of the second pack, where several girls were able to use me to block the wind. I was really never on the pace I wanted to be, and went through the 1600 in 5:20. Poo. As if I wasn't enough of a Negative Nancy before the race, hearing that split got me even more down. I knew I wasn't going to run anywhere close to the time I wanted. I knew I'd still definitely run a new PR, but as I felt myself slowing more every lap, my focus shifted to just making sure I got under 11:00.

With a couple laps to go, the girls who had been drafting off me moved around me and I did my best to hold on. I didn't manage much of a kick, but I was able to get back around one of the two girls in the last 200 meters and I crossed the line in 10:54. Yes, it was a PR by 50 seconds; but, it wasn't anywhere close to what I wanted or thought I was capable of. I'm way more disappointed in how I mentally defeated myself than in the time I actually ran. A very important element of success is a positive attitude and a sincere belief in your ability to achieve your goals. I didn't have that and my result reflected that. But, I did my best to move on and not dwell on one bad race. I didn't want to feed the negativity and have it completely consume me. I wallowed in self-pity briefly, tore down the rearview mirror, and focused my gaze on the road ahead.